Sister Wives’ Kody Struggles to ‘Redefine’ His Life While Recognizing His ‘Failures’ in Polygamy

Sunday’s episode of ‘Sister Wives’ saw Kody reflecting on whether certain decisions he made for his family contributed to them not being “more successful”

Sister Wives' Kody Said He Was 'Carrying' Family on 'His Shoulders' They Saw Him 'Constantly Gaslighting
Kody Brown is pictured on TLC’s ‘Sister Wives’. Photo: TLC

Amid ongoing Brown family turmoil, Kody Brown is not sure what the future has in store for him.

Sunday’s Sister Wives episode saw Kody, 54, reflecting on the increasingly complicated dynamics amongst the family. Particularly, the reality star cited ongoing estrangement issues with many of his children, as well as the fallout from most of his wives.

Because of that, Kody wondered if “some of the failures” he’s had in plural marriage were tied to him “expecting too much from the family with this one family idea.”

“We might have been more successful had we been in different homes with the kids growing up like they were cousins,” he suggested in a confessional.

Kody then recalled how the family previously held a “family commitment celebration where we wrote our mission statement” and “wrote this idea for ourselves” upon Robyn Brown’s entry into the brood. But with everything that has happened in recent years, he feels as if they “just shredded that mission statement.”

Robyn Brown, Meri Brown, Kody Brown, Christine Brown and Janelle Brown from "Sister Wives" arrive at the grand opening of Mike Tyson's one-man show "Mike Tyson: Undisputed Truth - Live on Stage"
(L-R) Robyn Brown, Meri Brown, Kody Brown, Christine Brown and Janelle Brown from ‘Sister Wives’ are pictured at the grand opening of Mike Tyson’s one-man show ‘Mike Tyson: Undisputed Truth – Live on Stage’ on April 14, 2012. Ethan Miller/Getty

“What has happened with our family is very sad to me,” he continued. “It’s just one of those things that’s happened. I have to move on.”

Kody added: “But there is sort of this strange place that I’m in where it feels odd… I’m trying to redefine my life.”

Next, Kody began re-examining his religion and his place within it, noting that he would “almost be too embarrassed to show my head at church because of the just the struggles my family has had.” The father of 18 — whose family doesn’t have a church in Flagstaff, Arizona — added that despite having “always been a man of faith,” he’s “struggled for a long time.”

SISTER WIVES, Kody Brown (center), with wives and children, (Season 1), 2010-. photo: Joe Pugliese / © TLC / Courtesy: Everett Collection
Kody Brown is pictured with the entire Brown family in 2010. Joe Pugliese/TLC/Everett

“I’m not a fit in my old religion,” he confessed. “We’re in, let me use a term, no pun intended, we’re in limbo.”

Three of Kody’s marriages crumbled within 14 months, beginning with Christine Brown in November 2021. Janelle Brown and Meri Brown followed thereafter. He is now in a monogamous marriage with Robyn Brown.

Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE’s free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from juicy celebrity news to compelling human interest stories. 

Sister Wives airs Sundays at 10 p.m. ET on TLC.

Related articles

‘Sister Wives’: Robyn Worries Kody Has ‘Thoughts’ of Leaving Her as Family Drama Makes Him Want to ‘Disappear’

“It would absolutely devastate me if he tried to leave me,” Robyn Brown said of Kody Brown during Sunday’s ‘Sister Wives’ episode, later adding, “I know he…

Sister Wives’ Meri Brown on the Biggest Misconception About Her — and Why It Made Her Fight for Her Marriage (Exclusive)

“A lot of people look at it as because I waited so long, it means I have no confidence,” Meri said, before explaining why knowing her “value”…

Sister Wives’ Janelle Resists Kody’s Affection on a Birthday ‘Date’ When Cameras Went Dark

“I mean, all this effort to get to Mariposa and dress nice, specifically because I was looking for an edge into reconciliation,” Kody told cameras of his…

Sister Wives’ Kody Told Meri on Their Anniversary He Has ‘No Desire’ to Be with Her: ‘Never Going to Happen’

Sunday’s episode of ‘Sister Wives’ saw Meri and Kody reflecting on their rather awkward 32nd anniversary dinner — as well as their future together (L-R) Meri and…

Sister Wives’ Kody Told Meri on Their Anniversary He Has ‘No Desire’ to Be with Her: ‘Never Going to Happen’

Sunday’s episode of ‘Sister Wives’ saw Meri and Kody reflecting on their rather awkward 32nd anniversary dinner — as well as their future together (L-R) Meri and…

Sister Wives: Inside Kody Brown’s Agreement with Robyn to Release Her from Marriage If She’s Unhappy (Exclusive)

Despite having the agreement, Robyn Brown tells PEOPLE that she has “never thought” about leaving her marriage to Kody Robyn and Kody Brown. Robyn Brown is opening up…